Off the top of your head, are you able to give a time period for the longest you have went being single?

And no, not that Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge single.

The single where you don’t have another man’s/woman’s attention day in day out or week in week out.

That is honestly a difficult answer to give in our present times, especially for how easy it has become to constantly have a potential partner’s presence in your life. 

What I really want to know is why that I have spent my 20’s feeling the pressure of getting married or staying married but never for staying single and being happy single. 

Whenever we talk to friends or family, as a single woman/man, everyone is always wondering and asking when you plan to get into a relationship. Or when you plan to get married. Or the ideals you should hold to keep a relationship strong. But it seems like no one talks about the relationship with yourself.

No one asks what you did this week to make yourself happy.  No one asks what are some areas you are working on within yourself. No one even asks if you think YOU are in a right place mentally to come into a relationship as an asset, not burden.

I get it though. Social connection is a vital need for humans. We love it. And we all want someone special. All the time.

But sometimes that becomes our weakness. Why is that instead of enforcing staying single and working on ourselves, we always enforce going into one broken relationship to the next.

Let’s not put all the fault on society this time. Instead, let’s start bringing awareness to the conversation being held in different social groups.

My fellow single folks, let’s start taking the time to not let the messages being portrayed by media or our peer group affect our own process of self-growth.

And my friends in relationships, let’s start asking our single friends’ about their internal growth instead of how to make it work or what to do differently.

Lets all start acknowledging and encouraging people to take however much time they may need to fall in love with themselves before letting them band-aid the problem with another man or woman from Tinder.

Your relationship with your significant other will always be one of the most crucial relationships in your life  but it will never become more important than the one you have with yourself.